LOS MARCOS POLOS MANIFESTO

BUY OUR SHIT

Bueno — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 02:39:13 +0000

WE HAS SHIRT FOR SALE NOW. LEFTOVER FROM LOS MARCOS MELEE. OUR PRICING IS INSANE! ONLY $12 PLUS $6 FOR SHIPPING AND HANDLIG. THEY HANDLE BY MARCOSIAN CHIDREN - SAME CHIDREN WHO MAKE US OUR POLO BIKES Y ROLL US OUR BIDIS. ONLY CHILD OF LOS MARCOSTAN TRUSTED BEST FOR SHIRT DELAVERY, AND WE IS GUARANTEE YOU (UNLESS YOU LIVE IN CANADIA OR SOMEWHERE ELSE NOT IN UNIDED STADES) MOST PERFECT DELIAVERY EVER. THREE COLOR IS AVAILBLE - RAD, BLUES, AN BALK. BUY NOW BEFORE THEY IS ALL GONE!!!!! CLICK HERE

The Jacque Crunk photo of the day

Bueno — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:45:59 +0000

MELEE RESULTS!

Bueno — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 20:16:55 +0000

First Place

FETUS IN FETU

Wins these three Velocity wheelsets built by Brooklyn Bike & Board

Second Place

Hot Boiled Peanuts

Third Place

Hakuna Matataz

Fourth Place

The Los Marcos Kill Team

MVP

Sean RVA

Wins a Fleet Velo!!!!!

2nd MVP

Bri

Bri, on the right, painted those discwheels. She won a pologuard.

Special regocnishun for 1st female streaker

Megan from Chicago

Megan, on the left, got nekkid an won those discwheels by Bri, on the right.

Zachfased (most drunken)

Corey - who didn’t play, and got drunk at an event not even associated with the tournament. Happy Birthday Al!

DFL

Johnny Midwest

Hottest Costume

The Rumblinas

Best Fake American

Alexis

Overall points

1. 3445 - Fetus in Fetu (Birdseye, Ram Man, Dumptruck - NYC/CHI)
2. 2788 - Hot Boiled Peanuts aka Muy Caliente Legumes (Shane, Meghan, Jason - DC)
3. 2615 - Hakuna Matataz (Cecily, Brian “Ohio”, Ryan Pennsacola - NYC/CHI/FLA)
4. 2478 - Oh Fucky My Ass, eh aka The LOS MARCOS Kill Team (Zach, Alexis, Bainesworth - NYC/OTT/RVA)
5. 1880 - I’m not gay, but my roommate’s dick tastes like shit (Sean (MVP!), Ben, Johnny Midwest - RVA/NYC)
6. 2010 - Darth Ackbar (Zack, Adam, Leslie - NYC/SEA)
7. 1845 - Bosstlyn aka Bri Aggressive (Brianna, John, Jordan - NYC/BOS)
8. 1835 - Get Yourself Tested (Quinn, Ian, Ben, Fiona - NYC/RVA/CHI)
9. 1674 - The Rumblinas (Shelly, Oleha, Chandel - TO)
10. 1430 - Team Adorable (Tommy, Nate, Dave - NYC)
11. 1380 - The Black Widows (Katie, Amber, Julie - NYC)
12. 1263 - We’ll get back to you on that (Jen, Quinn, Paul - OTT/NYC)
13. 1015 - Lee & the Ladies (Lee, Lindsay, Megan - Columbus, CHI)
14. 732 - Dangerously Delicious Dump a pupu platters (Nick, Tim, Vince - ?)
15. 650 - What kind of dinosaur is that? (Tucker, Cait, ? - CHI/MKE)
16. 505 - 3rd Wheel Que Malo (Tink, Bruce, Jason Aquamoore - DC)
17. 480 - Raw Dog & Bail (Nathan, Will, ? - ?)
18. 250 - The Kurt Angles (Brad, Jonathan, Ian - PIT)
19. 120 - And Whatnot (Capriotti, Chris, Nick - PHI/NYC/RVA)

Other notable points results!

A separate column was kept for “misc. shenanigans, bribery, hijinks, etc.” This is where Los Marcos is traditionally won. No one can remember waht points were given for what, but some things are “court streaking”, “stripper tipping”, “coffee”, “tequila bribe”, “stick & poke tattooing the MVP”, “taking you shirt off at party”, “pleasing los marcos”, the list goes on

1320 Sean RVA (MVP MVP MVP)
810 Birdseye (last year he had only 200. You suck!)
640 Chandel (wore orange onesey best)
430 Tucker (sponsors get mad points)
415 Dave Neigburrito
410 Bri Aggressive (nice disc wheels!)
390 Ben/Fiona (can’t remember why)
390 Leslie (lots of bribery)
385 Cecily (2009 HCBP MVP)
370 Katie (nice hair)
358 Jason Woadie (1st person to earn points, in July)
345 Zach Lefty Doodle (for being from Brooklyn Bike y Board)
345 Ram Man
345 Ryan Pennsacola (has hot friends in Florida)
275 Bainesworth (for playing with us in PHI even though we lose)
295 Dumptruck
263 Alexis (although we assume he awarded himself most of those points)
250 Julie Benedetto (ran alleycat, didn’t play any polo)
250 Shelly (also wore orange onesey best)
225 Jen Ottawa (kidnapped Bueno’s child)
220 Cait (official Los Marcos personal assistant)
210 Tommy
205 Ackbar
200 Bruce (nice bike)
-180 Red Chris (cries too much)
-650 Johnny Midwest (1 point deduction for every $1 paypalled to him)

Scavenger Hunt Totals

1500 or so - Hot Boiled Peanuts
1020 - Bosstlyn/Bri Aggressive
970 - Fetus in Fetu
910 - I’m not gay but my roommate’s dick tastes like shit
710 - Hakuna Matataz
660 - The Rumblinas
630 - Oh Fuck My Ass, eh?
590 - Lee & the Ladies
510 - Get Yourself Tested
320 - Darth Ackbar
260 - Dangerously Delicious Dump a Pupu Platters
150 - We’ll get back to you on that
120 - The Black Widows
20 - Team Adorable

Top Karaoke

280 - Zachstar - “Bohemian Rhapsody”
275 - Hot Boiled Peanuts
250 - Fiona “Your so vain” with her own lyrics that she forgot
120 - Bosstlyn
120 - Lee & the Ladies
110 - Ackbar
100 - Dumptruck - “Common People”
100 - Hakuna Matataz - “Kokomo”
100 - The Black Widows
80 - Adorable

ALLEYKAT

Bueno — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 18:13:32 +0000

More threateninig ladders

Bueno — Tue, 06 Oct 2009 02:31:54 +0000

We don’t know what to make of theas. But look at new eveidenc! By Friday, we no dought find out who is holding ou family hostage. Idiot left HIS OWN BIKE (or mabye HER OWN BIKE?!?) in one photo. Someon gots to is know who bike that is. And look at disembodied zombie hand hoding fore loko in other photo. We know one thig: this person is dead. No, not ded, but UNDEADS! The only way to defete them is to destroy their brain stem. Luckily, as LOS MARCOS knows quite well, pollo mallet is quite good for dismembership.

who bike i that!?

NEXT CRAD:

LONG LEADER. TL,DR.

MVP! ¡MVP! ¡MVP! ¡MVP GET A SKEET VELO JOUST!

Bueno — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 16:05:14 +0000

Is announc! MVP of LOS MARCOS MELEE win a brang noo SKEET VELO JOUST from Tukker at Waterford! SKEET VELO! Is first ever polo bike mad e from grod up jus for poolo. El Chombo has one. El Coach from Odd-owa has one. They both ok polo playerz too. And now you UH HUH YOU can has one too. BUT YOU HAS TO BE MVP!!!

NOW WE NOEZ WHAT YOU THIKING? How is I to is be Mos Valubal Palyer? LOS MARCOS, HAPL! HOW IS I TO BE MOS VABUAL PALYER?!?1 First, stop skreaming at us! Second, you shod aks valuble palyers from last years - Dumptruk from Chicago y Banezworf from Richmond. What did they do? They maintain marcosianism all weakend long! What is “Marcosianism”? It fary difacult concept to wrap hed around. Start with step one. Read this site. You figure it out. If you can find manifesto, then you get bonus point. Then let go to step too. Bribery. Bribery is very importat aspec of LOS MARCOS MELEE. Judgegs is very much open to points for favors. How does you get poits? Oh mang, so many way. Karaoke. Alleykat. Polo. Scaveger hut. Habanero eatig contest. Party. Tru MVP try - at least TRY - to do all of thiz.

ZOMG FOUR LOKO IS SPONSOR! ¡Very bad idea!

Bueno — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 16:04:26 +0000

Karaowookie party!

Bueno — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 21:24:41 +0000

MERCALESSLIE WE WILL JUGJE YOU

Halp a fraind out

Bueno — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 01:57:54 +0000

OU frand is try to rent apratement in Williaberg. We use BOLG here to sprad word and he find good parson is for to live in apratement. Is real nice. LOS MARCOS go thare and do drogas a lot. Look at ad: http://newyork.craigslist.org/brk/abo/1395017872.html

Lucha VaVoom

Bueno — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 14:55:37 +0000

Los Marcos go to this at Webster Hall on Sunday. Maybe we see you there