WE HAS SHIRT FOR SALE NOW. LEFTOVER FROM LOS MARCOS MELEE. OUR PRICING IS INSANE! ONLY $12 PLUS $6 FOR SHIPPING AND HANDLIG. THEY HANDLE BY MARCOSIAN CHIDREN - SAME CHIDREN WHO MAKE US OUR POLO BIKES Y ROLL US OUR BIDIS. ONLY CHILD OF LOS MARCOSTAN TRUSTED BEST FOR SHIRT DELAVERY, AND WE IS GUARANTEE YOU (UNLESS YOU LIVE IN CANADIA OR SOMEWHERE ELSE NOT IN UNIDED STADES) MOST PERFECT DELIAVERY EVER. THREE COLOR IS AVAILBLE - RAD, BLUES, AN BALK. BUY NOW BEFORE THEY IS ALL GONE!!!!! CLICK HERE
Wins these three Velocity wheelsets built by Brooklyn Bike & Board
Wins a Fleet Velo!!!!!
Bri, on the right, painted those discwheels. She won a pologuard. 
Megan, on the left, got nekkid an won those discwheels by Bri, on the right.
1. 3445 - Fetus in Fetu (Birdseye, Ram Man, Dumptruck - NYC/CHI)
2. 2788 - Hot Boiled Peanuts aka Muy Caliente Legumes (Shane, Meghan, Jason - DC)
3. 2615 - Hakuna Matataz (Cecily, Brian “Ohio”, Ryan Pennsacola - NYC/CHI/FLA)
4. 2478 - Oh Fucky My Ass, eh aka The LOS MARCOS Kill Team (Zach, Alexis, Bainesworth - NYC/OTT/RVA)
5. 1880 - I’m not gay, but my roommate’s dick tastes like shit (Sean (MVP!), Ben, Johnny Midwest - RVA/NYC)
6. 2010 - Darth Ackbar (Zack, Adam, Leslie - NYC/SEA)
7. 1845 - Bosstlyn aka Bri Aggressive (Brianna, John, Jordan - NYC/BOS)
8. 1835 - Get Yourself Tested (Quinn, Ian, Ben, Fiona - NYC/RVA/CHI)
9. 1674 - The Rumblinas (Shelly, Oleha, Chandel - TO)
10. 1430 - Team Adorable (Tommy, Nate, Dave - NYC)
11. 1380 - The Black Widows (Katie, Amber, Julie - NYC)
12. 1263 - We’ll get back to you on that (Jen, Quinn, Paul - OTT/NYC)
13. 1015 - Lee & the Ladies (Lee, Lindsay, Megan - Columbus, CHI)
14. 732 - Dangerously Delicious Dump a pupu platters (Nick, Tim, Vince - ?)
15. 650 - What kind of dinosaur is that? (Tucker, Cait, ? - CHI/MKE)
16. 505 - 3rd Wheel Que Malo (Tink, Bruce, Jason Aquamoore - DC)
17. 480 - Raw Dog & Bail (Nathan, Will, ? - ?)
18. 250 - The Kurt Angles (Brad, Jonathan, Ian - PIT)
19. 120 - And Whatnot (Capriotti, Chris, Nick - PHI/NYC/RVA)
A separate column was kept for “misc. shenanigans, bribery, hijinks, etc.” This is where Los Marcos is traditionally won. No one can remember waht points were given for what, but some things are “court streaking”, “stripper tipping”, “coffee”, “tequila bribe”, “stick & poke tattooing the MVP”, “taking you shirt off at party”, “pleasing los marcos”, the list goes on
1320 Sean RVA (MVP MVP MVP)
810 Birdseye (last year he had only 200. You suck!)
640 Chandel (wore orange onesey best)
430 Tucker (sponsors get mad points)
415 Dave Neigburrito
410 Bri Aggressive (nice disc wheels!)
390 Ben/Fiona (can’t remember why)
390 Leslie (lots of bribery)
385 Cecily (2009 HCBP MVP)
370 Katie (nice hair)
358 Jason Woadie (1st person to earn points, in July)
345 Zach Lefty Doodle (for being from Brooklyn Bike y Board)
345 Ram Man
345 Ryan Pennsacola (has hot friends in Florida)
275 Bainesworth (for playing with us in PHI even though we lose)
295 Dumptruck
263 Alexis (although we assume he awarded himself most of those points)
250 Julie Benedetto (ran alleycat, didn’t play any polo)
250 Shelly (also wore orange onesey best)
225 Jen Ottawa (kidnapped Bueno’s child)
220 Cait (official Los Marcos personal assistant)
210 Tommy
205 Ackbar
200 Bruce (nice bike)
-180 Red Chris (cries too much)
-650 Johnny Midwest (1 point deduction for every $1 paypalled to him)
1500 or so - Hot Boiled Peanuts
1020 - Bosstlyn/Bri Aggressive
970 - Fetus in Fetu
910 - I’m not gay but my roommate’s dick tastes like shit
710 - Hakuna Matataz
660 - The Rumblinas
630 - Oh Fuck My Ass, eh?
590 - Lee & the Ladies
510 - Get Yourself Tested
320 - Darth Ackbar
260 - Dangerously Delicious Dump a Pupu Platters
150 - We’ll get back to you on that
120 - The Black Widows
20 - Team Adorable
280 - Zachstar - “Bohemian Rhapsody”
275 - Hot Boiled Peanuts
250 - Fiona “Your so vain” with her own lyrics that she forgot
120 - Bosstlyn
120 - Lee & the Ladies
110 - Ackbar
100 - Dumptruck - “Common People”
100 - Hakuna Matataz - “Kokomo”
100 - The Black Widows
80 - Adorable
Back a few month ago, LOS MARCOS send a degelate to middle of courntry to stir up porpaganda machine, infiltratig town halls for our death care program y bribing gullible midwesterners with candy and booze. Many converts has been made to the marcosian way. It a grassroots thing, whatever that is. We no have “grass” in Los Marcostan. All covered with lava, and the alcoholic sea water no good for anything to grow except for booze trees and, oddly, coffee plants. It little known fact that our mysterious island is rife with nutrients to grow strongest, most robust flavorful coffee you ever tasted.
Dear Leader
It’s happening.
This one time at beach, I sit there with ma y pa Bueno, watchig waves ov lava crashig on the shore, burning tourists to a crisp. Ma y Pa y Bueno laugh y laugh y laugh and we never figure out how those people found Los Marcostan in the first place. We ate funnel cake, rode bikes that we stole from littel kids, y Pa Bueno taught me how to pick up girls with money an tequila. It was good time with Ma y Pa. May they rast in piece. If they dead that is. Last time I saw them, they say “Bueno, wait rite here in frozen meat section of grocery store ok? We be riiiight back,” and then they run away real happy an jump in car, screech out of parkig lot - i hear their favrit Sepultura songs vary loud from car - and then a large crash, people in grocer store go “oh, shock! It a schoolbus! My god is so horrble!” and i stand there. I stand there for 15 year until I fall into tunnel Gigante was diggig. But that another story.
This story about the seagull that poop on mask that day at beach with Ma y Pa! Stupid seagull. It made that day horble, but almost ok watchig you fly close to ocean and cook youself to death. You may suck, but you still make nice bag. We can’t wait for the Melee, because we get some of you bags for giving out for top prices! Thax Seagull
Hay, WE WANT TO SAY THANK IS YOU! Los Marcos alrady have everythig in they need, but we can alway take more. CONSUME, CONSUME, CONSUEM! Is what Papa y Ol’ Kernel Marcos use to say. If we no find a good use for all this stuff just for ourself, maybe we give it away as price at Los Marcos Melee in Okctober.
Big up to Brooklyn Bike y Broad, Kraptonite, Holdfastordiet, y Sonaday for coming on board.
Chack out this drawig of Holdfast Straps we rip off from John Probably’s boring website. If that hipster uses them, theys HAS to be good!
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LOS MARCOS POLOS MANIFESTO WORK BEKUZ OF WARDPESS Y EL STUPIDO NUMBER NINE
